Nov 30, 2016 | 3:15 pm

by meg

When I get the buffer rebuilt, we’ll start updating again. This hiatus is not permanent.

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Jun 13, 2012 | 12:01 am

Godsend. Chapter 4, Page 3

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ok! so, here’s the kickstarter page: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/meggandy/godsend-volume-one

it will run from right now, this very moment, until Friday Jul 13, 9:00pm EDT. yes, friday the 13th. because i couldn’t resist. that’s 30 days. if we can raise $5000 in 30 days, then books and trinkets for everyone.

a note: those of you who have already donated to me before, i saved your email addresses, and when the mandala background is finished, you will receive it in your email, whether or not you pledge money to this kickstarter. that background was originally intended as my thank you for help replacing my laptop. that said, if you wanted to be extra awesome, and buy a book too, that would of course be incredibly appreciated.

thank you all, you guys are awesome, and we are so grateful you come read our comic.

Discussion (16)

  1. Sketch edition and signed poster totally snagged! I’ve been so excited for this to get going since you first mentioned it might happen 🙂

    Gonna link to the Kickstarter on my Friday update at Bright Stars, as well – maybe I can at least send a few new readers your way!

  2. I only just found this webcomic though the kickstarter, and wanted to give it a read before I contributed (eagerly looking forward to a print copy). Let me just say, WHOA! The art, the mythology, the characters, definitely looking forward to this whole story.

    (And about the reveal at the end of Chapter 3, can I say I sort of saw it coming? At least I was highly suspicious while reading chapter 1 why nothing was confirmed or denied. And when Jamie was undressing, I was desperately clicking around the internets trying to find a concrete mention of the character’s gender. And even while reading I was only sort of thinking Jamie was a boy because Simon kept calling her as such. But the reveal was a total “I KNEW IT!” moment. Umm… sorry for the rambles?)

    1. rambles are cool and welcome! i actually thought we’d given the whole thing away with that scene. i’m glad you’re enjoying the comic, and thank you so much for your support!

  3. i thought that talib was in love with jaime as soon as he said, “he’s beautiful”, but i thought that was because talib was queer, not because jaime was a woman. now i’m not sure what it meant when the older priest said it’s his “temperament”, which i thought was a subtle reference to his sexual orientation. guess i’ll go back and read, but i like the plot twist regardless. i’m a genderqueer jamie and so i have to say i really like the gender-ambiguous jaime as a lead character, even if she spells her name kinda funny. ^__^

    can i ask how many chapters long this is expected to be? and will the book contain the whole story, beginning to end? or will there be a series of books before the story completes itself?

    1. that WAS what the old priest meant when he said “his temperament.” when talib confessed to father quinones, both he and the elderly priest believed jaime was male. i think talib’s revelation came not when he was torturing himself alone in his room, but when he looked at jaime and realized how scared she was. i don’t think talib had ever really put thought into what he liked or didn’t like, sexually speaking, before he saw jaime. he was raised in the church and likely always expected to be a priest–complete with vows of chastity. and it’s very easy to not question things, if you think you know how things are going to go.

      i’m glad you like her! i’m not the writer, but i was a little uneasy about the revelation, since i knew people had already accepted the idea of jaime and talib as they were presented. i mean we had dropped hints, but hints never get the whole audience–just the ones already versed in certain fantasy tropes. i do plan to always draw her on the masculine side–poor jaime is never getting boobs.

      i have no idea how long godsend will be. jesse (the writer) doesn’t know either–i’ve asked. he’s given me a rough outline of where it’s going, but i can’t honestly say how long i think it will take. i do know it’ll be long. the book on kickstarter right now is the first three chapters, and we’ll be doing a kickstarter every three chapters from here on until we finish it.

      1. oh, and just as a kinda side thought… when dolan and jaime are talking in the earliest pages of the story, they mention they’re not even 15 yet, and they way they say it (what they hope to accomplish by the time they reach that age), i’m pegging them more at like 12 or 13. but either way… the only thing i don’t like is calling jaime a “woman” because whatever jaime is, jaime is a KID. and i think that it’s normal to have crushes and sexual impulses at that age, but by ascribing “womanhood” to our protagonist, it feels a bit like prematurely sexualizing a character when nothing about her personality or behavior so far have lent that to her persona… if that makes any sense… like, i’d rather jaime decide what her identity is and what that means (i mean, i know the author is creating the voice of all of the characters, so in the end, it’s still what the author chooses for jaime, who isn’t even real, but it’s the way it comes across.) so, i’m not really complaining, just saying that it would have sat far better with me if talib had revealed that his vision made him think jaime is a GIRL (not woman) and that jaime would have been the one who chose to agree or disagree…

        deal being, my truly held beliefs about sex/gender are WAY more complicated, and it seems presumptuous to ascribe any identity to jaime that jaime hasn’t chosen on jaime’s own. but i’m going to let that go, because not every single piece of art exists in the same world that i live in, and i’ll just assume that the writer is, for the sake of keeping it simple (or perhaps some lack of knowledge about this topic), making this story take place in a world where there is in fact strict human sexual dimorphism and gender is just a name for those binary categories, since that is—despite being totally incorrect—the world most ordinary people believe we live in here on earth. okay, end of rant. just had these thoughts kicking around since i read your response to my comment, and today i wanted to check for another page in the story, and felt like i’d attempt to convey some of my reflections on how the story is coming along. ^__^

        and please know, we are broke at the moment, but we fully expect to be able to pledge before july 13th, at least enough to get the print copy. we plan to do this to support the project, but the ideal vision in my head is one big graphic novel, with the story from start to finish, in print, and in my hands, in a couple of years (or however long ’til the story concludes, if it ever in fact does conclude). just putting in my vote for that option down the line. also, that i’d be far more willing to save up the $$ to fund a final version that includes those things you want, like gloss on the cover, french flaps (i think that’s what you said) and getting my book sketched in. this is partially an aesthetic thing, but also that books with teeny spines that are stapled i far too easily lose on my bookshelves. and the bigger, complete book, well, that’d be a coffee table book anyway. not sure where the story is going, but regardless, even if i’m disappointed in the story as it continues, the art is just so damn beautiful, i’m already looking forward to having ALL those pages of wonderful drawings in one bound copy to look at and show off to my guests. ^__^

        sorry this comment got a bit long….. if this is too long, obnoxious, even, please lemme know that and in the future, i’ll keep all this in a private email.

        okies. <3 <3 <3
        (i made myself leave this comment before i allowed myself to catch up on the story, and anticipation is killing me!!!)

        1. I haven’t reread the comic recently, and I’m not the author/Meg to speak with authority, but perhaps it was a choice made to help lend credence to the Medieval era setting? With the shorter lifespans people had, girls were long considered women as soon as they first started to menstruate, which would often leave them to be considered adults far sooner than our current (just as arbitrary) designation of eighteen years.

          1. there’s that too. i do really think the word choice has more reflection on talib’s state of mind than anything else though.

        2. not obnoxious at all, jamie. i actually think these sorts of discussions are best held in public, as it allows both discussion and exposure in. when i was a teenager in a religious household, the internet was my only source of exposure to the world, and the way i learned was through forums like this one. i’m a big believer in it. so, by all means leave comments on the pages. i will try to address your concerns as best i can. unfortunately, we are going to have to do without jesse’s input (his wife recently had a baby, and he’s busy as hell). i will pose the questions to him later when i have opportunity.

          so! going though piece by piece.

          […]they mention they’re not even 15 yet, and they way they say it (what they hope to accomplish by the time they reach that age), i’m pegging them more at like 12 or 13[…]

          i peg them at roughly 14, and that’s how i draw them. dolan’s words were (located here): “we sell this thing and BOTH of us can retire before we turn 15.” squiddo had them a buyer that afternoon, so i wouldn’t take it as dolan insinuating a couple years.

          but either way… the only thing i don’t like is calling jaime a “woman” because whatever jaime is, jaime is a KID. and i think that it’s normal to have crushes and sexual impulses at that age, but by ascribing “womanhood” to our protagonist, it feels a bit like prematurely sexualizing a character when nothing about her personality or behavior so far have lent that to her persona…

          you are absolutely correct. jaime IS a kid, and use of the word “woman” sexualizes her. a few pages later, simon calls her a “teenage girl” (ignoring the anachronism of the word “teenage”–but simon’s speech is routinely anachronistic), and in chapter one, the guy dolan and jaime steal from calls them urchins–a word with the connotation of “children.” i don’t think this is careless writing however–i think that this is talib’s words betraying him again. remember, part of creating a character’s voice is allowing them to say things the creators may not personally agree with. i view jaime as a kid (sexual feelings notwithstanding. the first time i fell in love, i was 14 myself), but talib wants her to be a woman. talib is wrestling with new feelings himself (he’s also still a kid. i haven’t been given an age, but i don’t think he’s out of his teens yet), whipped himself in response to them previously, and is likely grasping for all manner of justifications. and yeah, i found the word choice as jarringly uncomfortable as you did, but i’m pretty sure that was the point.

          deal being, my truly held beliefs about sex/gender are WAY more complicated, and it seems presumptuous to ascribe any identity to jaime that jaime hasn’t chosen on jaime’s own. but i’m going to let that go, because not every single piece of art exists in the same world that i live in, and i’ll just assume that the writer is, for the sake of keeping it simple (or perhaps some lack of knowledge about this topic), making this story take place in a world where there is in fact strict human sexual dimorphism and gender is just a name for those binary categories, since that is—despite being totally incorrect—the world most ordinary people believe we live in here on earth. okay, end of rant. just had these thoughts kicking around since i read your response to my comment, and today i wanted to check for another page in the story, and felt like i’d attempt to convey some of my reflections on how the story is coming along. ^__^

          jesse is playing a lot with traditional fantasy tropes in this story. the crossdressing thief, the chosen hero, the wizard, the myths, etc etc. jaime declared herself (with no small pleasure) “lady jaime” which indicates to me that she’s hiding just because it’s safer. historically speaking, and worldwide presently, street children are heavily preyed on by pimps, and it’s just safer to not be female. additionally, the concept of a gender binary is frequently a cultural one (and genderqueerness as we define it now is certainly a modern one). have you ever heard of the hijras? now, i don’t know how in depth jesse plans to go with the world, but the reason i supported this plotline is because it’s subversive (for the world i grew up in, anyway. i know it doesn’t push things far enough for the world i’d prefer to live in). it’s exactly how i talk to my religious relatives about lgbtq people in order to foster an understanding and support in them. so i can hand them this book of ours and they’ll read it because they like me, and they’ll be just uncomfortable enough to have to think about it later. i regard myself an intersectional feminist, so if you ever have concerns, please feel free to share them. i do plan to get jesse to read this conversation, so hopefully he’ll be able to keep this in mind.

          and please know, we are broke at the moment, but we fully expect to be able to pledge before july 13th, at least enough to get the print copy. we plan to do this to support the project, but the ideal vision in my head is one big graphic novel, with the story from start to finish, in print, and in my hands, in a couple of years (or however long ’til the story concludes, if it ever in fact does conclude). just putting in my vote for that option down the line. also, that i’d be far more willing to save up the $$ to fund a final version that includes those things you want, like gloss on the cover, french flaps (i think that’s what you said) and getting my book sketched in. this is partially an aesthetic thing, but also that books with teeny spines that are stapled i far too easily lose on my bookshelves. and the bigger, complete book, well, that’d be a coffee table book anyway.

          thank you so much. there will books still available after the kickstarter! i purposely priced the goal to ensure there would be plenty of books to continue selling in the future. in fact, the KS hit 100% funding just an hour ago! so please don’t worry about having to scrape together money. i will save you a copy. and yes, this story has an ending. i even know the rough outline of what it is (shhh). i’m pretty sure we’ll get to do all the fancy things i want to do too. also, we’re doing perfect binding, not staples. staples are bleh. this is a 150 pages book, i think the staples would break.

          i don’t know about getting the whole thing into one giant book though. maybe if we fit 4 comics to every page? i’ll think it over.

          not sure where the story is going, but regardless, even if i’m disappointed in the story as it continues, the art is just so damn beautiful, i’m already looking forward to having ALL those pages of wonderful drawings in one bound copy to look at and show off to my guests. ^__^

          i sincerely hope we don’t disappoint you.

          1. omg, i love your reply. every bit of it. thank you!

            for my follow-up replies, i’ll just #.

            (1) pegging jaime & dolan at 14 yrs old—totally makes sense now that you remind me how the comment was made, in the context of getting rich quick of their latest swindle

            (2) i was 13 the first time i fell in love, and that relationship is still important and meaningful to me today (one of the most genuine and memorable relationships i ever had before i met my wife!) … and thanks for bringing up the point about talib. even though simon “agrees” with him, making it feel like the two guys in the story are ascribing an identity to jaime, it also doesn’t make any sense to think that simon would have corrected talib and said, “you mean girl” or anything of that sort, b/c it wouldn’t have been natural conversation, and simon’s kind of a jerk anyhow (or at least seems that way so far… his motives seem very suspect). and considering how fond i am of talib’s character (and also remembering how he struggled to call the other priest “brother” instead of “father”, and that he was whipping himself and full of so much trepidation), it’s good for me to remember that it was talib’s choice of words, coming from that same confused but well-intentioned young mind. (shit, when i was 13-14-15, i was still gripped by my religious upbringing, thought there was a clear sex/gender binary, and that god was going to smite me for the feelings i had for girls that i was starting not to be able to ignore.) another thought: if talib had any visions, like, into the future (not sure if this is the case or even possible in this world), well maybe he saw jaime in his visions as several years older than she is now, and maybe (unbeknownst to all of us readers) those visions include a grown-up jaime who does identify as a woman?

            (3) all good points. and i really have nothing wrong with playing with those tropes, or even (in theory) creating a story that takes place in a world & era that is not the same as ours. followed that movie tropes link, and suddenly remembered how much i LOVED mulan, which came out when i was 16 (actually, i still love it, and i have always loved the 80s & 90s disney films that feature strong female leads who are not at all like the passive, personality-devoid princesses from the earlier disney films… how sad am i that the ashman/menken partnership was so short-lived? ::cry::).

            and i hope i didn’t sound too complainey. i *do* recognize that even the concept of certain religious institutions being inclusive of women is radical in many contexts, not only in the past, but to this very day. institutions that are wholly unaware of the complete lack of any scientific basis or socially legitimate reason for a sex/gender binary are treating all of its participants as belonging to []M or []F as a straightforward, taken-for-granted thing. and in these systems, oppression and omission of (who they think of as) women is a very real problem. i don’t think that any acknowledgment that the established boundaries are false should ever have a regressive impact on the struggle for egalitarianism. and some things can only be accomplished one step at a time.

            sometimes, this means fighting for women’s rights, *then* addressing the poison in the notion of sex/gender binaries. and in other contexts (and very likely not this one, in this story), making people understand the falseness of their concepts of gender binarism will be the means through which they find it palatable to stop using sex/gender to extend or withhold genuine inclusion. since i think the end goal is always what is most effective, i don’t want to be so presumptuous as to have implied that rejecting gender binarism is the #1 goal all the time.

            i hope i worded it just as a reflection of my thoughts, and not as a taking-to-task. sometimes writing things on the internet is fraught with the ability to say something casually and still have it come across sounding overly critical. if i did this, know my intentions came from a good place, and also from an I-FUCKING-LOVE-THIS-WORK-OF-ART-SO-MUCH-I-CAN’T-BELIEVE-IT place. ^__^

            (4) so, wow. 150 pgs? is that possible??? not a hard-and-fast rule, but, in general, for me, the following is true: if something seems really long but isn’t, it’s b/c i don’t like it that much. if something seems [x] length and turns out to be significantly longer than [x], that’s b/c i really love it. so, please, understand that my not realizing chapters 1-3 constitute 150 pages is a testament (::punny::) to how much i love it. you lovingly hand-drew and laid out every single one of those (still, OMG, 150!?) pages, so i’m sure it’s not the least bit surprising to you.

            and obviously you should do a poll or something, and not just take my opinion, but let me weigh in here and now until there is a decision to be made and you’re soliciting everyone’s opinions on the matter: i LOVE the (roughly) 6″ x 6″ layout choice. i get so tired of the standard rectangle everyone uses for so many books. and i wouldn’t want to see the art shrink to put multiples on a single page. also, presumably you chose to lay out panels into page groupings in a very deliberate way, and putting multiples on a page will somewhat undermine that careful planning you did all along the way, putting an even greater emphasis on page breaks after every 8 panels, which may not seem as organic to the story. so i vote, for what it’s worth, no more than one per page!

            and on that note, even if it’s not very practical in the end, also let me state that a 2-3″ thick book of the same (roughly 6″x6″) dimensions, sounds like a lovely shape and heft to me. i’m sitting here and i look over at the living room bookshelf, and zinn’s ‘people’s history..’ is staring back at me. if you cut the bottom couple of inches off its height, that’s pretty much what i’m seeing in my head. but i know *nothing* about indie, small-batch printing and binding, so i may be looking at an impractical example. but ftr, i’d much rather have several 6×6″ thinner books all lined up (maybe even a little box to contain them down the line?) than to have either (1) a 12×12″ book that runs on the thin side (and will also make it too tall for a lot of people’s bookshelves) or (2) a shrunken down version of the same 4-per-page/8-per-spread layout.

            (5) now i wish i could retract having used the word “disappointed” at all. why did i say that? the word, reading it now, sounds so mean-spirited. not what i wish had come out of my mouth when i was writing those comments. it was a lazy and careless way of saying “if it doesn’t meet all my highest expectations” … ordinarily, nothing ever does. it’s just that this, so far, is by and large exceeding all my expectations, and so you’ve done that wonderful thing that also end up being so very daunting when you realize it, which is set the bar very, very high. and that’s a good thing, so don’t let any stupid words out of my mouth imply that you’ve done anything but!!!

            <3 <3 <3

            and thank you, again, meg, for your replies. as if i didn't love all of this enough already, just as an exceptional piece of art, you've captured my heart even more. <3

          2. (2) i have no idea what he saw! the scripts are pretty bare-bones. i get to know some things ahead of time, but things like that, i’m also in the dark about. and yeah–memories of religious upbringings. i was a well-meaning moron as a kid.

            (4) yeah! that’s why i decided we’d put the books out every three chapters, since jesse’s scripts had the page counts at roughly similar lengths per chapter. 150 pages is a pretty respectable size for a book!

            (3/5) you are just fine, i promise. i’ve been expecting some version of this discussion for ages, and you have been perfectly lovely about it. don’t even fret about your word choices. you’re fine.

            and thank you.

  4. I saw this through Kickstarter. Sat down and read it from start to present and I want. WANT! WAAANT! Funding coming your way! If things keep up, and you do fund every 3 chapters, you’ve got me hooked.

    Is this the end of Chapter 3 or are there going to be more pages included in Volume 1?

    1. thank you so much! this page here is the third page of chapter 4. i label every page. so this page will be part of the very beginning of volume 2.

      1. …Hmm… I was so caught up in reading the story I wasn’t paying any attention to where things were. Bah! No matter! Looking forward to seeing the book in the flesh as it were.

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